Category Archives: Humor

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This summer I’ve been taking advantage of the Kids Bowl Free program at our local bowling alley.  If you don’t know about this program, check it out here.  I was skeptical about signing up my three year old, but she has been having so much fun bowling.  She has a pretty funny celebration dance after she bowls – she usually does her victory dance before the ball even hits the pins!

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Usually, if I take enough snacks with us, my youngest daughter will sit happily at the table stuffing her adorable little face.  This last time however, there weren’t enough snacks in the world to keep this baby happy.  Lila was content for the first half of the game and then she got sleepy and only wanted to be held.  I ended up bowling the rest of the game with a baby on my hip.

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It was weird, but once I started bowling while holding a baby, my game actually started improving. Before having to hold Lila, I didn’t bowl a single strike or spare, but after picking her up, I continued to bowl strikes and/or spares.  I guess the baby corrected my bowling posture.

 

While I was bowling, I had a thought:  Why is there no such thing as the MomOlympics? Why do we not have a contest that features moms and their amazing multitasking ways?

If there were a MomOlympics (and there totally should be) here are a few of the events that should be included:

  1. The Marathon – Moms would line up at the starting line with their child in a jogging stroller.
  2. Rock Climbing – Babies would be snuggled up in the baby carrier as Mom ascends the rock wall.
  3. Bowling – With the baby on one hip, the Moms would bowl one handed.
  4. Swimming – Mom swims while towing a child in a raft behind her.
  5. Baton Twirling – With every toss of the baton, Mom would have to bend down to tend to the baby.
  6. Paddle Boarding – Mom paddles while the child sits on the board at Mom’s feet.
  7. Dodgeball – The Moms play dodgeball while trying to keep their children from being pegged with the ball.
  8. Rhythmic Gymnastics – Mom would use the ribbon to not only entertain the crowd but also to soothe a crying baby.
  9. Curling – Mom would throw the stone while instructed her children to “Sweep! Sweep!”
  10. Yoga – Moms would twist and bend into the most complicated of poses – partially due to the nature of the pose and partially because they are reaching for their child in order to keep them from wondering off.

 

Along with the above already established sports, MomOlympics would also host events like:

  1. Lego Obstacle course – Mom walks through a land mine of Legos while holding a baby on one hip and carrying a load of groceries.
  2. Diaper Changing Challenge – Moms get timed on how fast they can change a diaper.
  3. Laundry Folding Challenge – Moms race to fold as many towels as they can while their children “help” (read: unfold) them.
  4. Grocery Store Challenge – Moms (with children in the shopping cart) would race up and down the aisles trying to get everything on the list before the kids start whining or crying.
  5.  Potty Training Sprint – Moms must locate a potty and sprint to get their potty training child onto the toilet before an accident occurs.

 

I really think I’m on to something amazing here. MomOlympics could be an international success! Who’s up for a little friendly competition!?! I’d love to hear if you have any other ideas for MomOlympic events!

 


So the most ridiculous thing happened yesterday.  I put Lila down to sleep, and then I went outside for a little walk (I had to make sure I got my steps in for the day!), leaving my husband inside with Kora. They both enjoy their father daughter time in the evenings.

Fast forward to later in the evening when Kora is sleeping soundly in her bed.  Thomas informs me that Kora and gotten her hands on my phone and she had gone around the house taking pictures.  This is not the first time she’s done this.  She likes to take pictures of anything and everything she sees.  It’s actually quite funny to watch her as she’s snapping away – she has to get very close to the object she’s shooting and she’s talking the whole time as if she’s coaching the subject in order to get the best shot.

I grab my phone so I can look through the pictures she took.  I wanted to see our house through her eyes.  To my amazement, she only took about 150 pictures – I was expecting more.  There were pictures of her toys and pictures of shoes – outsides of shoes and insides of shoes. She took pictures of cabinets and got a good shot of our laundry hamper. She even got a picture of the inside of the toilet bowl! I’m just glad she didn’t drop my phone as she was getting that shot!  Many pictures were a little blurry and some of the pictures were just a total blur.  Kora did manage to get a smiling picture of her dad – “Say cheese!”


There were a series of pictures that made me giggle.  My husband explained that Kora got a little frustrated that she couldn’t take a picture of the mirror.  Because she takes close-ups, all she was capturing was herself holding the phone! I guess you can call that a selfie!


Then there was one picture that stumped us.  We could tell that it said ‘DEXTER’, but we could not tell what it was.  My curiosity was piqued, so I started searching for the mysterious object.  After several minutes of searching, my husband joined in on the effort.

 

We searched everywhere, but we couldn’t find Dexter.  We were baffled, yet determined to find it.  We were laughing so hard because Kora had stumped us.  We even joked that we were going to wake her up to help us solve the mystery! It was completely bizarre.  We searched for half an hour before we finally found Dexter.  She had taken a closeup of the embossed logo on the front door.  It sounds a little silly, but I felt a strange sense of accomplishment once we solved the mystery of Dexter.


It was the most ridiculous scavenger hunt unknowingly created by a three year old.  I’m thinking that I’ll start using this as a new activity for us to play. Kora can take pictures of things and then I have to go find what she photographed.  I know she would enjoy it, and I hope she can continue to challenge me like she did with Dexter.

Have your kids ever unknowingly challenged you?


Have you ever made plans to do something that seemed like it would be fun and then start wondering why in the world you committed to doing said activity? Well, that recently happened to me.

A couple of weeks ago, my mom sent out a group text to the family asking who wanted to play in a dodgeball tournament.  The local athletic booster club was hosting the tournament as a fundraiser, and my dad said he would pay the entrance fee if we wanted to get a team together.  The tournament was scheduled for Easter weekend, so since my brothers and I were all coming into town for the holiday, it worked out that we could all play.  The team would consist of me, my three brothers, my husband, and my nephew.

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With the tournament weeks away, I was excited about playing.  As the date approached, I grew more and more nervous.  I hadn’t played a competitive sport in a looooooong time, and was worried about being out of shape.

On the morning of the tournament, I was really regretting my decision to play.  Why did I think this was going to be a good idea? Since registering our team, I learned about some of the other teams – the fire department had a team, the sheriff’s department had a team, and the nursing home staff had a team.  I wasn’t necessarily concerned with the nursing home staff, but I was worried about the fire department and the sheriff’s department.  These are men and women who have physically demanding jobs.  I was not looking forward to what was about to take place.

I really started sweating bullets once we arrived at the gym.  I was looking around at the all the other teams and I was seeing lots of guys that looked pretty strong and athletic.  I was hoping to see more girls playing, but as it turned out, there was only one other team with a girl on it.  I watched the speed at which the guys warming up threw the ball, thinking about how much it would hurt if I couldn’t dodge it.  Why did I do this to myself?

Our first game quickly approached, and my worst fear came true – I took a dodgeball to the face! I think the crowd gasped in unison, but I can’t be sure as my ears were ringing.  In all fairness, I was already out when I got clobbered.  I had tried to catch a ball, but unfortunately I dropped it.  I took the ball to the face on my way off the court.  If the other games were going to be like this one, I was in BIG trouble!

We ended up losing that game, but we didn’t go down without a fight.  Everyone on my team was out, except for my husband.  The other team only had one player as well, so it came down to sudden death.  According to the rules of dodgeball, during sudden death, the centerline is dissolved, allowing the players to chase each other down.  Thomas put up a good fight – he dodged, ducked, dipped, dived, and dodged – but finally he got hit with a ball.  It was a great match!

We ended up playing seven games, and I can happily say that I didn’t get pegged in the face again! We won a few games, we lost a few games, but we had fun the whole time.  Competing as a team with my brothers, husband, and nephew was a blast.

A game of dodgeball doesn’t last very long, but it is very exhausting.  After seven games, we were wiped out! When the tournament ended, we headed to Dairy Queen to recuperate with buy one, get one free Blizzards! (The new Reese’s Extreme blizzard is awesome!) While playing, it’s hard to see everything else on the court, so it was great talking to each other about the different games we played while enjoying a yummy treat.  During one of the games, my youngest brother managed to throw the ball cross court and hit my grandmother (and break her glasses!) who had come to watch us play.  We gave him a hard time about that for sure!

We had so much fun playing that I think the 6 D’s of Dodgeball – Dodge, Duck, Dip, Dive, Dodge, and Dairy Queen – has become a new family tradition.  Comment below with your favorite family tradition.

 

 


On a roadtrip with my family, I drove past a road sign that indicated that Sour Lake, Texas was 11 miles away.  I joked with my husband that I wouldn’t want to live in a place called Sour Lake.  A couple of hours later, we came upon a sign for Plaquemine, Louisiana and my husband asked me if I’d rather live in Plaquemine.

While I know you are not supposed to judge a book by its cover, I am solely judging these towns by their name.  I have nothing against either town, and I’m sure they are both lovely places to live.  I just find the names of the towns to be unappealing and yet a little amusing.

Knowing there had to be other towns with humorous names, I decided to do a little digging.  Here is my Top 15  list of Places I Don’t Want to Live (based on name alone!).

  1. Toadsuck, Arkansas
  2. Slaughter Beach, Delaware
  3. Sopchoppy, Florida
  4. Waldo, Florida  – I could just imagine meeting someone and telling them I was from Waldo.  “Where’s Waldo?” they would ask. That would get old.
  5. Grimes, Alabama
  6. Grosse Tete, Louisiana
  7. Licking, Missouri – Who’s doing the licking?
  8. Nag’s Head, North Carolina
  9. Coward, South Carolina
  10. Yellville, Arkansas
  11. Shinglehouse, Pennsylvania
  12. Eek, Alaska
  13. Between, Georgia – I imagine the conversation about telling where you live goes something like an Abbott and Costello “Who’s on First” act.
  14. Blandville, Kentucky
  15. Boring, Oregon – This place does not sound fun.

 

While I was looking at maps and names of cities and towns, a few names struck me as curious:

  • There seems to be as many states with a town called Baldwin as there are Baldwin brothers.  And there are a lot of Baldwin brothers.
  • There is a town in the state of Wisconsin called Wyoming (which is also the name of a state).  It could be quite confusing to tell someone that you are from Wyoming when you are actually from Wisconsin.
  • California is home to a town named Zzyzx.  What is that about?
  • Fifty-Six is the name of a town in Arkansas.
  • Pennsylvania has several names that I find funny – Forty Fort, Hop Bottom, and Moosic (which sounds like a Sandra Boynton book to me) are my favorites.
  • Florida is home to a town named Howey-in-the-Hills.  I’d like to know more about this Howey guy.
  • We all know of Paris, France and Miami, Florida, but are you familiar with Paris, Idaho or Miami, Arizona? People might get excited to hear that you live in Paris until you tell them that you live in Paris, Idaho.
  • I also wonder about the feelings of the single people living in Romance, Arkansas.  Or the extraordinary people living in Normal, Illinois.

 

While I started off thinking that these were places that I didn’t want to live, I’m now very curious about all of these places and kinda want to visit them all!

 


My parents were babysitting my brother’s three boys this weekend, so when I decided to visit with my two girls, it turned into a full time circus! It would have been entertaining to be a fly on the wall watching three grown adults trying to attend to all the needs of a 4 year old, 3 year old, 2 year old, and 2 babies. It would make for a great episode on some sitcom like I Love Lucy or The Dick Van Dyke Show.

Mealtime was probably the most harrowing. Each of the three bigger kids gobble up their favorite food on the plate and then quickly asks for seconds. “More pancakes, please!” says one kid. Adult delivers more pancakes. “More strawberries, please” says another kid. Adult delivers strawberries. “More pancakes, please,” the third kid chimes in. About the time the adult can deliver more food for the third child, the first one chimes in again.  All this is happening while the youngest baby is being bottle fed and the crawling baby is either A) trying to steal food off the bigger kids’ plates (while the bigger kids are screaming about what is happening); B) crying and screaming that she wants food; or C) climbing on something she shouldn’t be climbing.  Can’t you just picture Lucille Ball throwing pancakes to one kid like a Frisbee as she is chasing a crawling baby around the kitchen?

Between meals, was less hectic, but equally entertaining.  Similar to Maxwell Smart, Nannie battled the KAOS by inventing Independent Free Time, which I found to be a genius idea.   A timer was set and the kids got 15 minutes of free time to do what they wanted without being bothered by the adults! Sometimes the timer ‘accidentally’ got set for 25 minutes.  Oops!

The kids enjoyed their Independent Free Time but always seemed to want to play with whatever toy someone else had.  If Kid 1 and Kid 2 were arguing over a toy and you suggested Kid 2 play with another toy, Kid 3 would automatically run get the suggested toy and start playing with it.  This is easily an episode of The Three Stooges.

The crawling baby had one agenda this weekend: climb on top of the toy table. She would climb on top of the table and then an adult would come get her down.  Approximately two seconds later, she was back on the table.  Her determination was maddening…. and a bit comedic.


She also kept us laughing by her new method of getting around – she has started walking around on her knees.  It looks like it would be painful, but she seems to enjoy it. In my mind I’m picturing either the cantankerous Archie Bunker or the deadpan Bob Newhart making some commentary about this baby’s actions.

The whole weekend was full of sitcom worthy moments that kept me laughing.  We had some Andy Griffith teaching moments, some Seinfeld activities about nothing, and best of all, we had some Happy Days!